Tags: active voice, brand, branding, business writing, cliche, client, communication, copywrite, copywriter, copywriting, corporate branding, learning, marketing, passive voice, prosperity, write, writer, writing
One of my clients makes high-end breakfast products.
So when she wrote on her labels that breakfast was:
the most important meal of the day,
she knew it.
And meant it.
But this didn’t stop me challenging her.
You see, every person and their pet know and use this time-worn truism.
So I suggested we change it to:
the day’s most vital meal.
My client then had the temerity to suggest she preferred important to vital!
And so I mounted my defence:
- Vital is shorter than important.
- Vital packs more punch.
- By ditching most important meal of the day for day’s most vital meal, we kill the cliché and own the concept.
- This switches the passive voice to active.
- It also gives superior cadence.
- Finally, vital stems from the Latin word for life/living (which is much in sync with a food brand).
So, do you still want important?!
My client replied:
‘You win a million times on this one. Thank you!’
Gracious, intelligent, enlightened and humble clients like this keep me copywriting.
And make me strain every nerve to advance their prosperity.
Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.
Tags: business writing, client, communication, copwriter, copywrite, copywriter, copywriting, edit, editing, error, proof, proof read, proof reading, proofing, proofread, proofreading, service, write, writer, writing
Every now and then I realise what a fanatic I’ve become.
As with this email to a client today:
With regard to compass directions, very few dictionaries use a space (i.e. north east).
The Oxford (and 12 other dictionaries) use hyphens (i.e. north-east).
24 (mainly US) dictionaries use no space (i.e. northeast).
As the module I’m working on makes significant use of these terms, I wanted to get direction (tee hee) from you.
I’d like to use hyphens.
Would that be OK with you?
Yet proofreading demands fanatical attention to detail.
It’s the only way to get things 100% right.
So I’m happy to be nuts about this stuff.
Paul Hassing, Founder and Senior Writer, The Feisty Empire.